Pivotal Moments

There are pivotal moments in each of our lives. Baptism. Graduation. Marriage. Babies. New careers. Moves. Divorce. Business ventures. Mission trips. Death.

I have experienced all of these moments. Some have been joyful, some sorrowful and some downright difficult.

In recent years these experiences have been magnified in my life. A major move from Colorado to Ohio. The passing of my sweet Mama. A business purchase. My husband’s major illness. Home dialysis. Being a care giver. My husband’s death. My sister’s diagnosis and prognosis and eventual death. Children and grandchildren. Precious great nieces and nephews.

For five months now, I have been trying to figure out how to be a widow. With my husband’s passing in February, EVERYTHING is on me at this point. And I have found myself overwhelmed on many occasions with no solutions or answers. I have also found myself isolated from others. It is easier to sit in my “compound” and eat ramen soup than to push myself to be with friends and family.

For almost two months now, I have been trying to figure out how to be the oldest child in our family since my sister’ passing in May. There is a great deal of responsibility in this new role. So far, I haven’t felt like I’ve lived up to how my sister filled this role. Mainly because our personalities were so different. She could plan a family gathering or Vacation Bible School with very little effort. While I can do these things too, it takes me a little longer to get the desired result.

For almost two months now, I have been trying to figure out how to run a business without my business partner and sister. Again, our personalities complimented one another in our business venture. Our motto was that she was the brawn, and I was the brain of the business. She was the go-getter, and I was the cautious one. She costumed plays that I had no idea where to begin and I would keep track of the bookkeeping and HR. Trying to fill both roles has been a challenge.

I would love to tell you that I have leaned into God during these past five months, and to some degree I have, but it has been hard. Grief can sometimes grip in a way that doesn’t allow for reaching out to others and to God. Grief can consume our thoughts and paralyze us. Grief can be so powerful that you don’t believe you can take another breath or step.

So how have I managed these months? By remembering God’s promises.

Psalm 34:18 (NIV) tells us that “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; He rescues those whose spirits are crushed.”

Matthew 5:4 (NIV) says, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.”

Psalm 56:8 (NLT) reminds me that “You (God) keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my ears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.”

These are beautiful promises, but still, are there practical things I have done to navigate the grief journey? Yes.

I spent time with Jesus. I found my favorite spot with Him. I told Him all that was going on. I cried. I asked for guidance and reassurance of His promises. I allowed myself to lean into Him as much as I could.

I spent time with family and friends. Whether it was in person, over the phone or by text, this was a lifeline for me on many occasions. And the friends and family that continue to reach out to me are the most precious.

I allowed myself to grieve. I needed to be at home alone. I needed to be at the Castle alone. And in those moments, I would allow myself to remember and grieve my losses.

I used my tools. My experiences in life have provided me with the tools to grieve well. Stephen Ministry training, Women’s Ministry, Funeral Services position, working with Hospice, employment at a Nursing Home. All of these positions have given me exactly what I needed to process grief.

Perhaps you too are dealing with grief beyond your wildest imagination. If so, I would encourage you to follow in my steps. Reach out to Jesus. Remember God’s promises. Don’t isolate yourself from friends and family. Find a GriefShare program near you and get into it. Find a good therapist or Stephen Minister and allow their words of wisdom to penetrate your heart and mind.

We all grieve differently, so please don’t ever allow someone to tell you you’re doing it wrong. It is a personal journey and one that you can move through.

I am not finished with my grieving process, but I am a stronger person today than I was five months ago. My desire is to live each day without hesitation and to the full. I am not guaranteed tomorrow, so I strive to find glimpses of peace and joy in each and every day. I pray that you will be able to do the same.

Grace and peace be yours in abundance,

Donna

Share

A24

It’s usually quiet. When the dialysis system is set up with care and precision, it is a few quiet hours. However, just recently, the A24 alarm blared every 15 minutes or so. I would stop what I was doing and go check what was happening. As per the manual, I would mute the alarm, identify the probable cause, check the arterial access flow to make sure there were no kinked lines. I would then reposition the access line, stop the cycler and then resume treatment. This process continued throughout the 3-hour treatment period.

Nothing had changed. I had been sure of each step along the way to prepare for this treatment. I did everything the same way I always did, so what was different and what was the cause of this A24 alarm?

Megan. My sweet housekeeper had been in to clean. In the process she moved Mason’s chair just enough to create a strain on the lines between the machine and Mason. Of course, as soon as he was finished, we moved the chair to the correct position, and we haven’t had an A24 alarm since.

How many times in my life has the A24 alarm sounded to get my attention. Plenty I’d say. The smallest misalignment from God’s plan or direction in my life has set off the warning alarm. Sometimes I’ve corrected it immediately. Other times I’ve been a little slower to redirect my steps.

And honestly, it all comes down to the heart. Why does my heart want more than what God has to offer? He is good. He is faithful. He always wants what is best for me. God reminds us in Proverbs 4:23 (NIV) “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” He knew our hearts would and could lead us astray.

In those moments when my heart is prone to wander, I must remember King David’s words in Psalm 119:10-11 (NIV). “I seek you with all my heart; do not let me stray from your commands. I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.” God’s Word is the only guide we need to keep us from wandering off the path. He has given us all that we need.

The one thing I know is that God is constant and doesn’t change. Malachi 3:6 and Hebrews 13:8 assure us of that. I may wander and move away from God, but He will always be there when I am ready to return.

Have you wandered? Take that first step. He is waiting for you.

Grace and peace be yours in abundance,

Donna

Share

Grace

Oh my. It has been so long since I’ve been with you all. So much has happened and life has just been, well, life. I have missed two things through this past couple of years. First is writing. Sometimes my brain just doesn’t want to shut down. I have had the desire but not the time. Second is painting. I began watercolor painting several years ago. Each Saturday I would meet up with a couple of friends and we would paint, laugh, cry, discuss Scripture and pray. It has been two years now since I picked up a paint brush and palette.

You may be asking what I have been doing. My last post was June 8, 2020. Wow. Over 3 years! Well let me give you an overview today. As time allows, I will dig into each of these events and share more of the reasons behind the events and how God showed up while all of this was happening.

June 2020 – changed jobs.

April 2021 – visited Ohio family for the first time in 14 months.

April 2021 – we decided to move to Ohio.

June 2021 – home in Colorado was put on the market…sold in one day.

June 2021 – I moved to Ohio and Mason stayed in Colorado to finish packing.

June 2021 – started new job in Ohio…quit said job.

June 2021 – started looking for home in Ohio.

July 2021 – back to Colorado to finalize packing and move.

August 2021 – moved into home in Ohio.

August 2021 – started new (better) job in Ohio.

December 2021 – Mom passed away. 🙁

February 2022 – Mason in hospital with chronic congestive heart failure.

April 2022 – quit better job.

June 2022 – bought a business with my sister…Costume Castle!

July 2022 – remodeled Costume Castle.

August 2022-February 2023 – worked like crazy at the Castle…Mason continued to have health issues (hospital stays and diagnoses).

May 2023 – Mason began dialysis 4 days a week…I began training to do his dialysis at home.

June-July 2023 – home dialysis 5 days a week.

So, here’s the thing. I am at home 5 days a week while Mason is on dialysis. His treatments last between 3 to 3 1/2 hours. I need to be in the house to hear alarms, but now I have flexibility and time. As I thought of what I would want to do with these hours, I knew I wanted to get back to writing. You will be hearing from me more often. And I will be painting! I can’t wait to share some of my artwork with you.

As I look back at this timeline, I can only say “phew”. A lot has happened in 3 years. I have said it before and I will say it again, I have only been able to do what I’ve done with God’s help and provision. I have been weak. I have been weary. I have failed. I have struggled. But through it all, God’s grace has been sufficient. The Apostle Paul knew of God’s grace and said it so eloquently. “Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Corinthians 12:9b-10 – NIV)

Grace and peace be yours in abundance,

Donna PS – I forgot how much I loved my blog design! Thank you Maria Hauser

Share

A Challenge

Have you ever been discouraged? If you answered “no,” you’re not being honest with yourself. This world has a way of discouraging us. It squashes our dreams, hopes and desires. It has a way of making us feel inadequate, unloved and unworthy. We can choose to be discouraged by the world or to be encouraged by God.

Take a look at these words from Jude. “But you, dear friends, build yourselves up in your most holy faith and pray in the Holy Spirit. Keep yourselves in God’s love as you wait for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to bring you eternal life.” (Jude 1:20-21 – NIV)

These are important words to keep in mind and things we are to do. Build ourselves (and others) up. Keep the faith. Pray in the Holy Spirit. Keep ourselves in God’s love. Wait for the mercy.

Yes, we may be discouraged today, but there is hope. Hope in Jesus Christ to provide all that we need for this season.

I would encourage you to put into practice the ideas Jude shared with the early Church. Today, maybe choose one of these areas to work on. Focus on Jesus and the love He has for you.

And here is the best of the best. When we keep ourselves in God’s love, the world’s discouragement isn’t nearly as painful. The hope of eternal life to come delivers encouragement to our aching souls. Knowing God’s mercy is new every morning is uplifting.

Are you up to the challenge?

Grace and peace be yours in abundance,

Donna

Share

Who is the King of Your Life?

Last week I had the opportunity to touch base with the Fresh Grounded Faith team, as well as other Local Conference Coordinators from around the country. For some of us, our events were rescheduled and we had unique information to bring to the table. Others were awaiting their conferences and they brought excitement to to our gathering.

Throughout the meeting, specific words began to emerge. Words like peace, trust and promise were just a few; but each word helped us to see that while we are in uncertain times, we have an Almighty God who is still in control.

Terrie, the National Conference Director for Fresh Grounded Faith, reminded us of Mordecai’s words to Queen Esther. “…for such a time as this.” (Esther 4:14) We were Women’s Ministry leaders who had come together to encourage one another and to prepare ourselves for such a time as this. In the midst of “this time” we know who we can look to for guidance. Jesus.

As we we prepared to close out our gathering, we had a surprise visit from Jennifer Rothschild herself! We suddenly perked up to hear what she had to say! Do you know she said? She told us that in the original Greek language, “corona” means crown.

We had been discussing Queen Esther and suddenly King Jesus took center stage. My dear sister, that’s exactly where He wants to be in your life. He wears the Crown. He rules the whole earth. He is provider of all we need. And He has all power over the cornavirus.

I was reminded of an old hymn. “I don’t know about tomorrow, I just live from day to day…But I know who holds tomorrow and I know He holds my hand.” Tomorrow is uncertain. And certainly we don’t know what August 14-15 may look like. But what we do know is we can trust that God has a plan and that He has gone before us to make our path straight. Our task is to trust, follow Him and acknowledge Him as King of our lives.

Grace and peace be yours in abundance,

Donna

Share
Visit Us On TwitterVisit Us On FacebookVisit Us On PinterestVisit Us On Linkedin